One of the many faults that we have and greatest source of emotional and mental suffering is having too much expectations of others. Constantly putting your friends and family under a microscope is simply asking for trouble and studies even show that unwarranted expectations from people leads to anxiety, depression and psychological health deterioration. This is because giving someone else standards leads to disappointment once they don’t manage to reach them and that creates rifts and severely damages your relationship with people.
1. Stop expecting them to always do the right thing
Everybody’s different, from the genetic make-up in our DNA to the cultural and social beliefs. Expecting people to do the right thing is a bit unrealistic, because what may seem right for you isn’t to them. The environment you’ve been raised in imposes various psychological and cultural practices which differ to different people. So if feeding on a dog isn’t right to you, don’t expect that from your Asian workmate. Focus on your beliefs and morals.
2. Don’t expect everyone to agree with you
We constantly feel comfortable when people around us agree with our thoughts and actions but this may not always be the case. Don’t let anger or hurt get to you when your colleagues don’t share the same sentiments that you hold and this is both pointless and harmful.
3. Stop expecting them to be perfect
Well it’s a no brainer that no-one’s perfectand expecting this from people is bound to result in disappointment. Once you expect people to do certain things to perfection and they don’t, try and understand that they are only human and they tried.Besides, they may be very comfortable with what they did and see it as their best.
4. Don’t expect them to be mind-readers
Sometimes you may not be feeling okay and you may be having some emotional or mental turmoils. Use your words to express yourself because human beings are incapable of reading your mind. Remember, failing to communicate is one of the top factors that injures relationship.
5. Stop expecting them to pick us up after we fall
Everyone has their own struggles and just because someone isn’t there to brush the dirt off your shoulders doesn’t mean that they don’t care. They could be facing much larger problems than yours.
6. Stop expecting them to always understand you
Don’t try and explain yourself too hard to others, so long as you understand yourself, then the others don’t really count. Your friends not ‘getting’ you doesn’t make you any less of what you are.
7. Stop expecting them to treat you how you treat them
We’d all love a perfect world but that is not the case. Some people would still treat you poorly even if you give them the royalty treatment and shower them with kindness. Be compassionate and understand that they may be lacking a true relationship with their self in the first place.
8. Stop expecting them to suddenly change their behavior
You can’t change people and the sooner you realise that the easier it’ll be for you. Trying to make people behave in certain ways or abide by certain norms would just make them fight back and pull you apart. Just accept people the way they are and shift your perspective. Change comes from within.
9. Stop expecting them to be the same person
You should also not expect them to be the same person they were a year ago. Growth is gradual and battles are won and lost each day. Love them just as they are and accept them even if they don’t meet your standards.
10. Stop expecting them to have it all together
Sometimes life throws bombshells that not everyone handles in the same manner. Don’t expect your friends to have it all together and try and understand that they are doing their best. Be compassionate and strive on strengthening your relationships.